I was looking at the droplets shining on the top of his toothbrush. He had used it just a few minutes before… leaving. For good. From where I was lying on the floor I could see the sink from a strange, crooked angle. Instead of dying, I could now see everything through a distorted lens – as if I had broken my neck. Blurred. Drop, drop, drop…In a hurry to leave, he did not fully turn off the tap. Drop, drop, drop…I could hear his steps fading away from my house.
The morning of 14th February and I am single AF as usual. Correction, I am single and FA * (f*ckin amazing) as usual 😉 It’s a 23-year-old tradition so why break it now? Yeah, I’ll admit it would have been quite satisfying to have an excuse to buy and put on some sexy lingerie for someone special but…wait a minute, I already have an exceptional person in my life, ME. Hm, maybe I will pass by Ann Summers today. Anyway, as a regular Valentineless individual, I have prepared a list of ideas and recommendations which would hopefully help all of us, single souls, to survive this exceptionally annoying day and avoid unnecessary feeling of loneliness.
Soon, very soon I will be 23…yeahhhh (or not really). It was hard enough to remember that I am 22. Anyway, I decided to do a not-so-brief-as-intended re-view of my 22s since this year was indeed memorable and transformative.
6:22, another sunrise, today only the house dog Leo accompanied me. But I liked it. I enjoy such peaceful mornings, especially when they smell of wormwood, sea, and freshly brewed coffee. Getting up in the early hours gives me enough time and silence to contemplate on my life with a clear, positive, and a bit dreamy mind. The old Bulgarian saying ‘The morning is wiser than the evening’ is often true in my case. Thus, my inner conversations are more pleasant and productive at 6 am than at 6 pm.
8 am in the morning. I’m sitting at the front porch, drinking coffee, making company to my favourite heavily smoking aunt, looking at the sea, and enjoying the sun beam on my right cheek. The air is yet to warm up before I can go for my morning swim. One of the biggest benefits of waking up at 6 am for the sunrise is then being the first person for the day on the empty beach (excluding the firshermen who are there earlier than me).
Sadly, I haven’t always been as fortunate as now in terms of love. Even though my experience is not that extensive, somehow I still managed to meet some jerks on the road, or let’s not be that bitchy – some good boys who acted as jerks in particular situations. Is that better? And I am not the only one; my girlfriends’ stories have honestly left me speechless (those who know me are aware how hard is this to achieve). Some of the phrases we have heard just made me wonder what the hell the personas we went out with even thought. Luckily, I was granted with permission to reveal some of those ‘Tell them, boys, bye’ encounters. Just to make it clear, I am not trying to expose or humiliate the boys, but rather to expose the idiocy of their actions so they do not repeat them with someone else. Don’t worry, guys, both ours and your names are changed. And some of yours – happily forgotten, but your nonsense will be remembered by us for the years to laugh at 😉
I am a lucky girl, no, wait, I am the luckiest one…yet the past couple of weeks felt like months, some days even like ages. I have had quite a few goodbyes in my life, especially in the last three years since I am abroad, nothing unusual for someone studying in a foreign country. Silly me, I thought I have mastered the art of ‘pretend-we-will-meet-tomorrow ‘ with my family and friends. Well, I admit, I still share some tears when my mum wishes me safe travel on the train/ bus station or at the airport. But as Sinéad O’Connor sings – nothing compares to…him.