There are 15 days left from 2016 which means I still have some 2016 time to do stupid things that I will ( I won’t) regret after. However, I’ve had the idea for this post for quite a while now, so I’m just gonna write it.
December always makes me contemplate on the rapid passing of time. I try to see the small changes in me and I search for the’signs’ that I’m growing up. Two years ago I even wrote a letter to myself which I read last Christmas. Honestly, it was a complete fail in terms that I remembered half of it, and I did not really feel like a year had passed since I wrote it. Thus, no major personal progress had occurred for 12-months period and I considered this fact borderline lame. Last December I had the same insecurities and pretty much the same bullsh*t troubled me. HOWEVER, thiiis year to saaaave me from tears…(ups musical digression)! Anyway, this year I could actually claim there is a difference, it might be small, it might be unnoticeable for others, but I sense it. I have got to know myself more, my desires, my likes and dislikes, my fears and the reasons for them, what makes me happy, what triggers my passion, the dealbreakers and the dealmakers with the people in my life. Hence, I’ve learned some valuable lessons and I’d like to share them with you. If you’ve reached those conclusions long before me ‘Congrats!’ 🙂
- Just buy those tickets – seriously if you have the money and you’re thinking whether to spend them for the amazing city trip or to save them for ‘darker days’, don’t even dare to think twice…just buy them and go! The more you postpone, the smaller the chance to actually go becomes.
- Gratitude is happiness best friend – there are those moments of pure happiness in just the simplest of deeds. Watching the sunrise from the sea, having a walk in the park in a sunny autumn morning, curling up in bed with a cup of tea after a long day, can bring such joy in your life if only you have the senses to cherish them.
- Get up and go – laziness, as easy and addictive as it is, can totally ruin your social life. You cannot meet people and experience something new and exciting unless you get out of your bed and replace the comfy pyjamas with the not-so-comfy but sexy backless dress. It’s particularly difficult to find willpower in winter when it gets dark at 5 so by 8 you’re already sleepy. However, once you’re out of the house it gets easier. I don’t say it’s always worth it to go out but if you really want to and the only thing stopping you is your laziness, try to overcome it. I did (to some extent) and it considerably improved my social life (which a year ago was restricted to only daylight coffee meetings).
- Go on your own – you don’t always need an ‘event buddy’ to come with you and ‘hold your hand’. Sometimes going on your own and not knowing anybody, as scary as it sounds, is better and more beneficial than bringing a friend. It’s an opportunity to speak and socialize with new people and a chance to meet a new friend among them.
- Intimacy doesn’t come with time, it’s either there or not – at least in my case. I learned that I either bond with someone from the beginning or it just doesn’t work out. It’s a waste of time, energy and feelings to force a connection that is not there.
- Think twice before you give him a 2nd (or 3rd-4th) chance – we’re human and we mess up, and each of us deserves some kind of forgiveness. However, I feel like some individuals consider forgiveness a sign that they can screw up again and again. I’m convinced now that no compromise with me or my feelings should be made. No matter what a great kissers you are or how amazing your accent sounds in my ear, if you promise to call and you don’t, I’ll just move on.
- Don’t plan your time around someone else and their comfort -we all have those friends who can only meet with you at comfortable for them time. No offence, I understand that being organised is important and scheduling is an effective way to do that, but don’t be mad if I’m not always available in the tiny ‘hour’ slot you could spare for me. I used to be that person that will always plan her time around someone else’s comfort until I realised only a few people do it for me.
- Don’t speak about your plans and goals – it’s just a waste of energy, unless you are discussing them with someone who can help you achieve them. I’ve noticed that if I talk about something before it happens, most of the time it gets spoiled.
- Self-hatred could never lead to positive body image, self-love does. Don’t let other people’s negativity pass on you – looking at the mirror and picking on the imperfections won’t make you perfect. Loving what you were given makes you happy, happiness results in a smile, which makes you beautiful. Learning to love myself ( instead of being my biggest critic) is one of the hardest thing I have ever done. Or at least it used to be hard, until I figured out it was social media and the whole ‘perfect body’ mania as well as the unwanted judgements of some of my acquintances, that made it tough. I decided I won’t accept people’s negativity anymore. Quick note to those who think they can judge me without being asked: If I am to start going to the gym, it would be for me, and not because you think I should do it. And if I decide that maybe, maaaaaybe I don’t want my stomach to be as flat as a brick wall, and you don’t agree with me, well you can shove your opinion …you know where.
- Select the people whose opinion will count -this is partially linked with the previous one. Those who speak (without being asked) don’t matter, and those who matter don’t speak (unless you ask them to).
- It’s better to regret something you’ve done rather than something you haven’t -with the exception of permanent damages such as severe injury or pregnancy being caused by your deeds, I believe it’s easier to put up with something stupid you’ve done rather than questioning yourself ‘what if’.
- The best things happen spontaneously or unexpectedly – such as my last trip to Dublin, where the time between having the initial idea to go and booking the hostel was approximately 10 hours 🙂
It appears I’ve learned a lot in the past couple of months. I consider 2016 one of the best years in my life so far, if not the best one. I am grateful for all the trips, all the new friends, all the smiles, and laughter, and happiness, I have experienced. It is not without tears but I just choose to keep only the good and positive memories.
2017 embrace yourself ‘cuz here I come! 😀